May has been kinda weird, has anyone else felt that?

Like I can’t exactly pin when the month began, and it feels like it went forever yet I can’t believe it’s already June.

Time is a lie.

As always, let’s just start at the beginning.

Beginnings are always a good place to start, I suppose.

The month started with my return from Melbourne, new tattoos all wrapped up and healing.

Within a two days of getting home, work on the house ramped up.

Three bedrooms had their carpets replaced and omg. Omg it looks so nice.

BEFORE

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AFTER

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Loooook at how nice the dark carpet is! It honestly makes such a difference, I love it.

I also ended up having to get my bore pumped fixed. Unfortunately this set me back $600 (I was expecting only minor repairs which would have been under $100), but they were able to fix it straight away.

Unrelated the house has water pressure again. Yes. Totally unrelated.

Oops.

I also started maintenance on the exterior. Mainly just weeding and mowing, but it’s just extremely relaxing.

We also finally lit the fire out at the house! It’s unbelievably cozy…

What else? OH I GOT A NEW A FRIDGE!!!!

It’s actually my new favourite thing.

I’m so excited to start using it once we move to the new house.

May was clearly the month of deliveries, because my knives from Alythuh also arrived…

I’m in the middle of writing up a special blog post involving these, so stay tuned for that!

Aside from very fun things arriving, May also heralded in Eurovision!

I had a delightful time watching the first semi final and the grand final.

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I would also like to share with you a Mikasa update this month.

She’s her usual gremlin self (she threw up in my bed twice this month) but she’s also cute and the love of my life so what can ya do?

Look at that little face.

Gosh, what else happened in May? I’m going through my calendar, photos + journals to remind myself.

Ah! That’s right! I had a wintery afternoon all to myself.

On a very rainy afternoon, I went to my favourite local cafe and picked up an Earl Grey tea and croissant, and drove down to the marina.

My plan initially was to just eat whilst watching the rain pour down and the boats bob about in the harbour.

But by chance, I parked next to our Maritime Museum. I hadn’t visited their since I was probably 10 or 11, so I decided to head on in for an explore.

And it was just as magical as I remembered from childhood.

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There’s a Sperm Whale skeleton, an old lighthouse lens, a life size model of a shark caught locally years and years ago, and loads of photos of what my town has looked like as far back as the late 1800s.

And, once I stepped back outside, the weather had cleared! Although it only lasted for about 45 minutes before the storm clouds opened again, I was able to pop across the beach and have a play.

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I made the decision then and there to try and have one afternoon a week like this.

And so naturally, two days later Victoria went back into a stage 4 lockdown.

Aaaand then all the house renovations I had booked in were cancelled (rightfully so).

AND THEN, because dear reader when it rains it pours, I went into the worst pain flare up I’ve ever been in.

It was a 6 hour climb from base level pain (my “norm” if you will) to excruciating agony.

It’s important to know that the 0-10 acute pain scale means practically nothing to people with chronic pain, but for the sake of explaining this, we’re gonna use it.

My base level pain is between a 4-6 out of 10, depending on the weather, how tired I am, my stress levels etc.

Yeah. I live with that. Day in day out, no break. For nearly 4 years now.

But when this pain flare hit, it became catastrophic. At it’s peak, I lost the ability to speak, I was just sobbing but in that very specific “I’m in the worst pain of my life” way in which you just kinda, make noise as you breathe out while tears stream down your face.

For context, it was probably a 14 out of 10. If I had been hit with this amount of pain out of blue, before I suffered from CRPS, I would have had an ambulance called on me immediately.

My tolerance for pain has massively increased since living with CRPS.

I was a stone’s throw away from going to hospital. In my pain-stricken brain, the only clear thought I had was “sedate me”.

Thankfully, I had some stuff at home left over from previous hospital visits (prescribed to me, obviously) and was eventually able to fall asleep.

The next day the pain had reduced slightly, but was still a good 9 out of 10 on the acute pain scale.

It’s been 6 days since the initial pain flare up and I’m still recovering. My arm is still very on edge and I’m having to work very hard to make sure I don’t trigger another flare up by managing my schedule, stress + other triggers.

The biggest killer is the fatigue though. Yes, the pain has just about settled back into the 4-6 range now, but good grief I’m exhausted.

And that’s how I said goodbye to May and welcomed in June.

It did allow me to read some extra books, though. I do try to find the positives in garbage situations!

• So You Want to Talk About Race – Ijeoma Oluo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
  I highly recommend this book! A fabulous look at race, intersectionality, privilege, police brutality and other complex issues. Oluo makes a discerned point to use to-the-point language to encourage critical thinking and self-reflection, as opposed to clickbait designed to elicit an emotional reaction but nothing deeper.

• The Disappearing Spoon – Sam Kean ⭐️⭐️⭐️
  I really enjoyed the stories Kean tells in this book, about chemists and scientists of the past. It kind of felt like getting the gossip from decades ago; the betrayals, the jealousy, the lies involved with filling out the periodic table. Only three stars because the bits in between the history felt a bit dry, and sometimes the language used describing chemistry felt a bit too high level and made it difficult for me to read.

• Pine – Francine Toon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
  Set in the Scottish highlands, with a distinct atmosphere of dread and unsteadiness, this misty mystery had me hooked from chapter 1. I was so convinced I knew who the culprit was that the ending had me reeling a bit. I’m really loving mysteries set in cold, wintery villages at the moment it seems.

• The Silent Patient – Alex Michaelides ⭐️⭐️⭐️
  Another thriller/mystery. A famous artist murders her husband and then never speaks another word. It’s up to her new psychotherapist to uncover exactly what happened. Oh this book had such potential to be a brilliant thriller. I was sorely disappointed with the ending, the writing felt janky, there were some very obvious (and incredibly unnecessary) plot holes and, on a personal note, the description of psychology and therapy was… no always realistic.

• Mrs Death Misses Death – Salena Godden ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
  What if death was a working class Black women? That’s the premise of this book and it is stunning. With a healthy dose of prose thrown in, this book will have you thinking long after you finish the last page.

• The Unhoneymooners – Christina Lauren ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
  Enemies-to-friends-to-lovers. I will declare my love of this trope forever and always. Siblings of the bride and groom end up going on the honeymoon together, as bride and groom fall sick. Shenanigans occur. Also had a real feeling of tension and high-stakes at the end that I wasn’t expecting.

If you read any of these, please let me know! You can also follow my Goodreads profile if you wanna see what’s on my upcoming book list!

It looks like regional Victoria gets to come out of lockdown from tomorrow onwards, so I’m keen to get all the cancelled renovations rebooked.

And now we’re in June, it’s also Pride month, something super dear to my heart!

Happy Pride to you all, no matter where you fall on the rainbow.

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Love always,

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