A Rather Difficult Day with ADHD…

  • I start the day with just over 3 hours sleep. My brain is so wired all throughout the night that even when I did manage to get some rest, it was filled with weird dreams + racing thoughts.
  • By 6:30AM I give up, make a cup of tea and eat a banana.
  • Bemusedly stare out bedroom window until I hear the cat in the lounge room.
  • On autopilot I feed Mikasa.
  • Her purr wrenches me out of autopilot that I realise I’ve fed her two hours earlier than usual.
  • She will now yowl for breakfast at 6:30am for the next three days.
  • Deciding to choose my battles, I leave her eating and decide to shower instead.
  • I do not shower, forgetting almost as soon as I decided too.
  • Sit down at my computer and decide to start my work day.
  • Computer immediately has technical difficulties and instead of snapping to problem solving as usual, I turn it off and rest my head on my keyboard.
  • Computer restarts, the technical difficulties are resolved.
  • I do not bother trying to figure out why they happened. I’m picking my battles, remember?
  • Work passes in a productive blur. I switch off all distractions and set alarms + timers + reminders.
  • I get everything done, in a strict, timely and sensible manner.
  • This will be the first and last time those adjectives are used to describe me or my actions today.
  • I ask my housemate, Bilvy for a word that means reassurance but is a little more professional (I’m writing an email). He suggests “confirmation”.
  • I proceed to forget that word 4 consecutive times, over and over again before I can even write it down.
  • Calendar alarm goes off: flu vaccination in 30 minutes.
  • Suddenly remember I never showered.
  • Jump in the shower, decide not to wash my hair, as it wouldn’t dry in time (can’t use a blowdryer as they’re too heavy for my arm to use).
  • Forgets, washes hair.
  • Drives to flu vaccination with the windows down in an attempt to air dry sopping wet hair.
  • Arrive at GP clinic looking like I’ve been standing in a wind tunnel whilst walking backwards through a hedge.
  • Get called through, nurse asks if I have any pre-existing conditions that make me eligible for the free shot instead of paying.
  • I do (it’s CRPS).
  • I forget what the name of my condition is called (it’s CRPS).
  • I explain I have a “chronic illness that causes me to be in pain all the time and leaves my body in a state of inflammation which has lowered my immune system” (it’s called CRPS).
  • Remember it’s called CRPS just as I’m leaving and practically shout it in her face.
  • Good work.
  • Head over to the hospital and ask about getting a COVID vaccine, as I qualify due to my CRPS.
  • Remember the name this time (it’s CRPS), but forget to ask which vaccine I’m booking in for.
  • Nurse tells me after 10 minutes of getting all my info that I’m booked in for Astra Zeneca, as that’s all that’s available.
  • I’ve been advised to get Pfizer and to not get AZ.
  • Am too embarrassed to tell the nurse I need to cancel the appointment, so accept and drive home.
  • Feeling a bit woozy now, health anxiety is kicking in. Am I having a negative reaction to the flu shot? I’ve never had one before but it’s never too late for a cheeky anaphylactic reaction right?
  • By the time I get home I’m flushed and dizzy, almost convinced I’m having some rare vicious reaction.
  • Suddenly remember I have significant medical trauma and being in a medical setting is a huge trigger for me.
  • Dizziness wears off, I eat some soup.
  • Stop writing because I get distracted by beauty YouTuber drama.
  • Start writing again, realise I’m probably having a very mild reaction to the flu shot as I do have a bit of a fever, but that I almost definitely not dying.
  • Anaphylaxis does not pause so one can watch tea/drama videos.
  • I am probably not on death’s door just yet.
  • Decide I’ll confer with my mother on whether to get the Astra Zeneca shot or cancel my appointment.
  • Crawl into bed.
  • Absentmindedly eat an entire 300g punnet of cherries.
  • Realise at this stage nothing else productive is going to get done today.
  • Decide it’s probably worth having a nap as long as my stomach don’t decide to betray me after consuming spicy pho and a cherry tree’s worth of fruit.
  • Close eyes for 15 minutes.
  • Brain feels like this gif:
  • Suddenly remember I need to call psychiatrist to get an updated script for my ADHD medication.
  • Immediately hit with intense phone anxiety, absolutely cannot make any phone calls right now.
  • Accept that this is just how my day is today.
  • Managing 4+ hours of decent, productive work is a huge achievement and I shouldn’t feel bad for not being able to do anything else.
  • (Still feel a little bad.)
  • Turn on Winnie the Pooh on Disney+
  • Brain rumbles happily.
  • <excutive functioning = fully offline>

Processing…
Wahoo! Now we're penpals!

blog personal

2 Comments Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: